mama } gatherings
I know parenting is not easy, can be an emotional rollercoaster majority of the time. But who is there with me on this ride? My new mama friends, whom are on the same schedule as me sharing the same timetable of those newborn days {awake early hours and still in our pyjamas} this is my new life, with mama’s who have been there and wont judge, always a listening ear.
They are always full of ideas, sometimes I’m like oh never thought of this, sounds good, must give it a try or go. It is those simple small things which at that time is the biggest thing or challenge for us, like a particular positioning for winding my newborn little babaru, or trying a new recipe for my toddler. Whatever it is, I always watched, learnt from my mama friends and always been generous in sharing tips and advice as we blossomed our mama relation.
I even created my own whatsapp mama groups in the area, so we can meet whenever convenient for us, as you know these little babaru{s}always have their own agenda which sometimes we have to wrap around their schedules. Also it is very important for our own mental health to have some adult conversations and engagements to share how we are feeling too. Parenting business I found myself sometimes worrying about everything {big or small}. Is my baby doing ok? In development, are their poos supposed to be that colour? How much should they be eating? Why, why, why aren’t they sleeping more?
When I look back I did a lot of mama dating, finding the mamas who naturally you get along with, as much as I felt the need to be in a group I personally preferred one-to-one or small group as I have always been like this, quality over quantity. I was very lucky in my early days of motherhood to have a very nice set of NCT mama’s who were going through the same journey and milestones as me, so it was very reassuring. One thing I learnt is trying to avoid constant comparisons, we are all different and so are our little babaru.
Especially when after birth I have noticed that childbirth most of us mamas have been through the same spectrum of pain, worry, trauma, joy and exhilaration. What is even nicer and comforting is to celebrate birth after by talking through anything that didn’t work out as we hoped. I was very lucky with my set of NCT mamas who where there for me when I needed to get something off my chest. It somehow enhanced my confidence boost by sharing things, after all baby world is all new to us, so having mamas beside me to tackle our next challenges or obstacles together really helped. Even just telling me how great I’m doing (“,)
I so know being a mama first time and second time can feel relentless - like I’m on a treadmill of feeding, nappy changes, making dinners, dealing with tantrums and picking up toys {the list is endless} it can seem like I have forgotten who I am. Who am I? do ask myself sometimes when I feel frazzled…my mama friendships can now and then reassure how I feel myself again rather than just someone’s mama. I have never underestimated the importance of a good chat, a cry or laughter for my mental health.